Useful Toddler Distractions

Toddlers and young children are a handful at home. When you take that busy little person to a place outside the home, and expect them to sit and wait, things can get ugly. Waiting for dinner to arrive or for their sibling's class to end can seem an eternity. Before your patience runs screaming from the room, remember to swim downstream... not upstream.

Instead of seeking a quiet moment to yourself, or time for adult talk, make the most of "now." Expecting your toddler to be patient like an adult is asking him to act-out to get your attention. 

There are definitely tricks to making the waiting less painful. After a few minutes of "shhh" and "sit still," the parent may be looking for some options that work for toddlers.  First, try asking your child to tell you a story, or about something that happened today. Toddlers treasure moments when they are the center of your attention and you are truly listening.

If they are too active to talk, try a distraction. Take the child's mind off the waiting with a story, song, rhyme, bounce on the knee or task. Your child will be thrilled with ANYTHING to do, and you will be happy they are occupied. Some favorite distractions are:

• A sheet of stickers they can apply to your purse or sleeve. (Applying the sticker could be a reward for a some action or service, like identifying colors or letters.) 
• A game of "I spy." This is a fun game to play with the camera on your cell phone. They close their eyes, you snap a picture, then they guess where the photo was taken. Zoom in for more challenging matches.
• Tell a story or read from a favorite book.
• Pull out a small toy you save for "quiet time" occasions.
• Offer crayons and paper. Ask them to draw your house or draw a portrait of you. The child's favorite part, of course, is your appreciation of their artwork. 
• Keep a sheet of removable window decals handy for a quick diversion.
• A cup of chipped ice and a spoon. Endless entertainment your waiter can offer, for free. Add an empty cup and they can transfer from cup to cup.
• Ask them to slide a penny across the table into your hand. If your child is past the choke-able objects stage, this simple game is readily available.
• Toddlers need to move. If you can do your waiting where there is an open area for running, like an empty hallway, try sending the toddler after a bouncy ball.
• Paper airplanes.

Believe it or not, you will miss these times. Enjoy your adorable little one!

Making It A Happy New Year

Walk along with the crowd or choose my own direction?

Happy new year to you! As I walk into 2011, I am going to change my perspective. Rather than focusing on how much weight I have to lose or the state of my home, I choose to focus my energies this year on the timeless adage, "Be the change you want to see in the world" (Ghandi). How can a busy mother of three who works outside the home find time to "be the change?" Answering that question is my goal for 2011.

Part of "being" is living the way you want others to live. A parent's life is a model for her children. We teaching them how to be. Leading by example. Thinking this through, there are several areas in which I could stand some improvement.

1. Better food choices. Plan, prepare and teach healthy food options.
2. Minimize materialism. Keep the focus on enjoying our time together and not the need for things or possessions. 
3. Fly. Although not a strict follower of the "Fly Lady" if I can keep up a little each day, my life will run more smoothly and I will be less witchy at home. Keeping organized will help me to find time to reach my goals.
4. Find my niche. One person can't each change the world, but I can make the best of what I have and try to find my personal niche to make a difference. What is the task that I enjoy, that targeted toward a worthy cause will improve lives outside of my immediate family. Determining this is my goal for January. 

I hope you will join me in my quest to make the world a better place.

20 Non-Food Rewards for Kids

When you are looking for a quick reward for your children, fast food, ice cream cones and candy are easy solutions... easy, but not healthy. If you are working toward healthier eating habits for your family, or just motivation for them to complete their chores, think beyond cookies. Here are twenty rewards that kids love. These treats add to your relationship rather than their waists.

Imagine the homework and chores being completed without complaint. How? Offer your children what they want most. If you are like most parents, stopping to play one-on-one with your kids rarely happens between loads of laundry, meals and homework. You can create a win-win situation by rewarding your children with your time and focus... the two things they love the most.

Simply knowing that they are working toward a reward motivates them and makes chores or multiplication tables more tolerable. Here are some family favorites.

1. Kid choice: set the timer for 15-30 minutes, and tell your child they get to tell you what to do until the timer goes off. Your child does not want you to answer the phone.
2. Let your child take pictures with your cell phone, and you guess what they are, then switch.
3. Play catch on the steps, with them sitting at the top
4. Painting, coloring, or craft time with Mom
5. Play a game or put together a puzzle together on the kitchen table, or online.
6. A two-player computer or Wii game, child vs. parent
7. A game of hide and seek with mom or dad... either hide yourself, or hide small toys and they find them.
8. Play keep-away with Daddy: floor wrestling
9. Set up an obstacle course and run it with the kids
10. Go on an outing: pick apples; explore by the river. Pick up one of their friends on the way and let them join in the fun.
11. Buy them a new book or ball and enjoy it with them.
12. Swim WITH them.
13. Walk with them while they scooter or ride a little bike.
14. Play Pig! Shoot some baskets together
15. A friend sleep-over, or assist your teen to meet her friends somewhere
16. A scavenger hunt you make for them
17. A pillow fight up on mom's bed
18. Play i-spy together
19. Family bike ride or visit to your playground
20. Read a favorite book or watch a family movie together

If rewards alone are not helping get the homework done, perhaps your children are overwhelmed. Let them know how long the task will take, and what fun awaits them when it is completed. Teach them to break large tasks in to bite-size pieces. Try making a list of small tasks and and let them cross them off as they are completed.

Make sure that you help them through a new task the first time. Don't assume they know how. Fear of doing something incorrectly, or being judged harshly turns chores into arguments. Go easy on them at first with lots of encouragement and little criticism. Even if the results are not stellar the first few attempts, eventually the child will achieve a comfort level with the task and take pride in doing it well.

Kerri Brimmer
Mom of 3 and enterpreneur
Naptime Productions Custom Cards

Kids Scared of Dogs

I am a professed cat lover. Early on as a parent, it was apparent to me that my eldest child had not acquired my love of animals. Like her father, she did not like the cats; the cats did not like her. The first few times she was around dogs, especially large dogs, she was afraid. So, to train her and her siblings how to live with dogs, we got one. (One of the cats flipped out and now lives in the basement away from the dogs, but nothing in family life is simple.)

Life with our Maisy was great. We loved the dog. The dog loved us. Unfortunately, she was terminally ill and we only got to enjoy her company for about six months. At this point, we have three heart-broken children. For some odd reason, their father thought a puppy would be a good childhood adventure. (foolish man!) Of course, logic holds that once you see a puppy, you want a puppy. We came home with two. Double mistake. Then adopted one more two years later.

Four years after losing Maisy, we have three dogs and two kids who like them. The non-pet lover has learned to live with and tolerate dogs. We have done a crappy job training them, thus they are hyper and hard to live with. They compete with each other for attention; you pet one, you get three... tounges out... with only two hands. Here is the score after almost five years of dog ownership:

3 Dogs - rescued and happy: 3 points to Dogs

3 Kids - accustomed to large animals and some training: 6 points to People

12 Paws - yard is a trampled muddy mess: 3 points to Dogs

2 Cats - must live separately from Dogs due to uncooperative personalities: 2 points to Dogs

1 Husband - pick up a LOT during poop patrol: 3 points to Dogs

1 Wife - brushing and cleaning and hair and more hair: 3 points to Dogs

Money - annual vet visits, food, heartworm meds, flea meds: 3 points to Dogs

Laughs - the antics can be quite funny: 3 points to People

Affection - kids can be found curled up with dogs to cuddle: 2 points to people

And there you go. The Dogs have it with a six points lead according to Mom. I am sure the kids would score things differently.

The Balance of Motherhood

If I could go back and relive any portion of my life, I would choose the first few weeks with my first born. The newborn baby emotions are so strong, and I only had her to focus on. Those touching mothering moments do continue, thankfully, in just the necessary proportion to keep you from taking your children OUT when they get older.

The beauty and balance of motherhood is created by one beautiful moment to balance each disgusting one. And a lot of patience. Examples:

• Mustard colored, runny baby poop down the legs to balance the warm snuggly infant sleeping on your chest.
• Throwing their toddler food from the high chair to the floor balances the hug they spontaneously give with "I wuv you Mama!"
• Crying at the store because you said, "No" to candy balances with the joy of hearing them read to you in first grade.
• Your third-grader burps on purpose all through dinner is balanced by the joy of watching your children create a special bond with each other.
  
• Your high-school student out-and-out refuses to cooperate at a family function balances the pride you feel when they come happy about their grade on a school project.
• The cost of a new trampoline balances the joy of watching them have fun jumping.
• The pain of watching them struggle with a mistake they made balances their knowledge to handle it differently the next time.

Swimming Uphill Both Ways

My greatest fear about becoming a parent was that I would no longer have time to do the things I wanted to do. During the first few months I swam upstream, trying to complete tasks on my old schedule. Giving in to my child's needs first, and letting myself have the scraps actually worked well for years. Sure, I'd get frazzled, but then I would find a little island and lounge in the sun for a while. Refreshed, I would meet the next lap with patience and sometimes, creative ideas. When I would try to accomplish anything... like making a phone call, or writing out a thank you note, or reading an article, I was quickly reminded why I never did these things any more by the demanding whine of a child.

Spoiled? Maybe. I tried to work our life so that their needs were met, then I would get my stuff in IF it worked out, later.

Then they got bigger. The children took longer and longer stretches away from my side. They played independently and got their own snacks. I could actually get some things done, and actually work at home. Wow. Lovin' it.

How quickly I forgot. School-age children, not unlike my younger children, still need mom. I still seem to pick bad times to take on a project. They still need me. And we are starting to think about colleges for the oldest. Remind me tomorrow to put the blog entry on the list for tomorrow. My sixth grader wants to read together.

I love being a Mom.

One Big Family

This week I let the complaints flow freely to my friends at work. Crazy stories about a crazy in-law who was pushing my patience limits. My experiences with this particular relative seemed very unusual to me. I have never run into another woman like her. As I related stories from the previous couple days, my friend said, "We don't look alike, but now I know that we are related." She proceeded to share frighteningly similar stories about her in-laws. EEEK! There are two of them!!!

From recent experiences, I have decided that each family hold certain characters in its keep. Do you have one each of these? Perhaps you have to marry into another bunch of loonies to get the complete set. And NO family is playing with a full deck.

• The Dependent - A grown adult who chooses not to stand on their own two feet, and instead calls out for help on every occasion


• The Chronic Whiner - relentlessly complaining, no matter how little you care, or how often you have been told


• The Black Sheep - This position often shifts from one sibling to another as the years pass.


• The Angel - the Black Sheep's complement. Angel and Black Sheep can alternate frequently.


• The Achiever - No stopping this person. And no one can measure up.


• The Coaster - Can effortlessly land in a pile of shit and come up with a diamond.


• The Peacemaker - Somehow ends up pulling the family together just when you thought you couldn't stand each other.


• The Smotherer - Put on a sweater because I am cold. You can take it off when I warm up.


• The Provider - Steady and stable, making Thanksgiving dinner possible.

I think I want to change my roles. The Angel sounds good. It would be nice to never hear myself complain.