One Big Family

This week I let the complaints flow freely to my friends at work. Crazy stories about a crazy in-law who was pushing my patience limits. My experiences with this particular relative seemed very unusual to me. I have never run into another woman like her. As I related stories from the previous couple days, my friend said, "We don't look alike, but now I know that we are related." She proceeded to share frighteningly similar stories about her in-laws. EEEK! There are two of them!!!

From recent experiences, I have decided that each family hold certain characters in its keep. Do you have one each of these? Perhaps you have to marry into another bunch of loonies to get the complete set. And NO family is playing with a full deck.

• The Dependent - A grown adult who chooses not to stand on their own two feet, and instead calls out for help on every occasion


• The Chronic Whiner - relentlessly complaining, no matter how little you care, or how often you have been told


• The Black Sheep - This position often shifts from one sibling to another as the years pass.


• The Angel - the Black Sheep's complement. Angel and Black Sheep can alternate frequently.


• The Achiever - No stopping this person. And no one can measure up.


• The Coaster - Can effortlessly land in a pile of shit and come up with a diamond.


• The Peacemaker - Somehow ends up pulling the family together just when you thought you couldn't stand each other.


• The Smotherer - Put on a sweater because I am cold. You can take it off when I warm up.


• The Provider - Steady and stable, making Thanksgiving dinner possible.

I think I want to change my roles. The Angel sounds good. It would be nice to never hear myself complain.