20 Non-Food Rewards for Kids

When you are looking for a quick reward for your children, fast food, ice cream cones and candy are easy solutions... easy, but not healthy. If you are working toward healthier eating habits for your family, or just motivation for them to complete their chores, think beyond cookies. Here are twenty rewards that kids love. These treats add to your relationship rather than their waists.

Imagine the homework and chores being completed without complaint. How? Offer your children what they want most. If you are like most parents, stopping to play one-on-one with your kids rarely happens between loads of laundry, meals and homework. You can create a win-win situation by rewarding your children with your time and focus... the two things they love the most.

Simply knowing that they are working toward a reward motivates them and makes chores or multiplication tables more tolerable. Here are some family favorites.

1. Kid choice: set the timer for 15-30 minutes, and tell your child they get to tell you what to do until the timer goes off. Your child does not want you to answer the phone.
2. Let your child take pictures with your cell phone, and you guess what they are, then switch.
3. Play catch on the steps, with them sitting at the top
4. Painting, coloring, or craft time with Mom
5. Play a game or put together a puzzle together on the kitchen table, or online.
6. A two-player computer or Wii game, child vs. parent
7. A game of hide and seek with mom or dad... either hide yourself, or hide small toys and they find them.
8. Play keep-away with Daddy: floor wrestling
9. Set up an obstacle course and run it with the kids
10. Go on an outing: pick apples; explore by the river. Pick up one of their friends on the way and let them join in the fun.
11. Buy them a new book or ball and enjoy it with them.
12. Swim WITH them.
13. Walk with them while they scooter or ride a little bike.
14. Play Pig! Shoot some baskets together
15. A friend sleep-over, or assist your teen to meet her friends somewhere
16. A scavenger hunt you make for them
17. A pillow fight up on mom's bed
18. Play i-spy together
19. Family bike ride or visit to your playground
20. Read a favorite book or watch a family movie together

If rewards alone are not helping get the homework done, perhaps your children are overwhelmed. Let them know how long the task will take, and what fun awaits them when it is completed. Teach them to break large tasks in to bite-size pieces. Try making a list of small tasks and and let them cross them off as they are completed.

Make sure that you help them through a new task the first time. Don't assume they know how. Fear of doing something incorrectly, or being judged harshly turns chores into arguments. Go easy on them at first with lots of encouragement and little criticism. Even if the results are not stellar the first few attempts, eventually the child will achieve a comfort level with the task and take pride in doing it well.

Kerri Brimmer
Mom of 3 and enterpreneur
Naptime Productions Custom Cards

Kids Scared of Dogs

I am a professed cat lover. Early on as a parent, it was apparent to me that my eldest child had not acquired my love of animals. Like her father, she did not like the cats; the cats did not like her. The first few times she was around dogs, especially large dogs, she was afraid. So, to train her and her siblings how to live with dogs, we got one. (One of the cats flipped out and now lives in the basement away from the dogs, but nothing in family life is simple.)

Life with our Maisy was great. We loved the dog. The dog loved us. Unfortunately, she was terminally ill and we only got to enjoy her company for about six months. At this point, we have three heart-broken children. For some odd reason, their father thought a puppy would be a good childhood adventure. (foolish man!) Of course, logic holds that once you see a puppy, you want a puppy. We came home with two. Double mistake. Then adopted one more two years later.

Four years after losing Maisy, we have three dogs and two kids who like them. The non-pet lover has learned to live with and tolerate dogs. We have done a crappy job training them, thus they are hyper and hard to live with. They compete with each other for attention; you pet one, you get three... tounges out... with only two hands. Here is the score after almost five years of dog ownership:

3 Dogs - rescued and happy: 3 points to Dogs

3 Kids - accustomed to large animals and some training: 6 points to People

12 Paws - yard is a trampled muddy mess: 3 points to Dogs

2 Cats - must live separately from Dogs due to uncooperative personalities: 2 points to Dogs

1 Husband - pick up a LOT during poop patrol: 3 points to Dogs

1 Wife - brushing and cleaning and hair and more hair: 3 points to Dogs

Money - annual vet visits, food, heartworm meds, flea meds: 3 points to Dogs

Laughs - the antics can be quite funny: 3 points to People

Affection - kids can be found curled up with dogs to cuddle: 2 points to people

And there you go. The Dogs have it with a six points lead according to Mom. I am sure the kids would score things differently.

The Balance of Motherhood

If I could go back and relive any portion of my life, I would choose the first few weeks with my first born. The newborn baby emotions are so strong, and I only had her to focus on. Those touching mothering moments do continue, thankfully, in just the necessary proportion to keep you from taking your children OUT when they get older.

The beauty and balance of motherhood is created by one beautiful moment to balance each disgusting one. And a lot of patience. Examples:

• Mustard colored, runny baby poop down the legs to balance the warm snuggly infant sleeping on your chest.
• Throwing their toddler food from the high chair to the floor balances the hug they spontaneously give with "I wuv you Mama!"
• Crying at the store because you said, "No" to candy balances with the joy of hearing them read to you in first grade.
• Your third-grader burps on purpose all through dinner is balanced by the joy of watching your children create a special bond with each other.
  
• Your high-school student out-and-out refuses to cooperate at a family function balances the pride you feel when they come happy about their grade on a school project.
• The cost of a new trampoline balances the joy of watching them have fun jumping.
• The pain of watching them struggle with a mistake they made balances their knowledge to handle it differently the next time.

Swimming Uphill Both Ways

My greatest fear about becoming a parent was that I would no longer have time to do the things I wanted to do. During the first few months I swam upstream, trying to complete tasks on my old schedule. Giving in to my child's needs first, and letting myself have the scraps actually worked well for years. Sure, I'd get frazzled, but then I would find a little island and lounge in the sun for a while. Refreshed, I would meet the next lap with patience and sometimes, creative ideas. When I would try to accomplish anything... like making a phone call, or writing out a thank you note, or reading an article, I was quickly reminded why I never did these things any more by the demanding whine of a child.

Spoiled? Maybe. I tried to work our life so that their needs were met, then I would get my stuff in IF it worked out, later.

Then they got bigger. The children took longer and longer stretches away from my side. They played independently and got their own snacks. I could actually get some things done, and actually work at home. Wow. Lovin' it.

How quickly I forgot. School-age children, not unlike my younger children, still need mom. I still seem to pick bad times to take on a project. They still need me. And we are starting to think about colleges for the oldest. Remind me tomorrow to put the blog entry on the list for tomorrow. My sixth grader wants to read together.

I love being a Mom.

One Big Family

This week I let the complaints flow freely to my friends at work. Crazy stories about a crazy in-law who was pushing my patience limits. My experiences with this particular relative seemed very unusual to me. I have never run into another woman like her. As I related stories from the previous couple days, my friend said, "We don't look alike, but now I know that we are related." She proceeded to share frighteningly similar stories about her in-laws. EEEK! There are two of them!!!

From recent experiences, I have decided that each family hold certain characters in its keep. Do you have one each of these? Perhaps you have to marry into another bunch of loonies to get the complete set. And NO family is playing with a full deck.

• The Dependent - A grown adult who chooses not to stand on their own two feet, and instead calls out for help on every occasion


• The Chronic Whiner - relentlessly complaining, no matter how little you care, or how often you have been told


• The Black Sheep - This position often shifts from one sibling to another as the years pass.


• The Angel - the Black Sheep's complement. Angel and Black Sheep can alternate frequently.


• The Achiever - No stopping this person. And no one can measure up.


• The Coaster - Can effortlessly land in a pile of shit and come up with a diamond.


• The Peacemaker - Somehow ends up pulling the family together just when you thought you couldn't stand each other.


• The Smotherer - Put on a sweater because I am cold. You can take it off when I warm up.


• The Provider - Steady and stable, making Thanksgiving dinner possible.

I think I want to change my roles. The Angel sounds good. It would be nice to never hear myself complain.

Siblings Forever

We opted to give our children siblings; life-long gifts to each other. Their own community in which to grow. Support each other. Be honest with each other. Argue. Compete. Love.

This week I had the rare opportunity to be with my siblings and parents for a long weekend. Just adults. Nothing special happened; we just spent time together. Laughed and gardened. Cooked and visited. It was refreshing to be in the company of people who know me and accept me as I am, with no expectations other than to be in the same house. No tension. 'Lotta love.

My kids are still young. They argue over chores, occasionally lash out and practice their communication skills on each other. Once they reach adulthood they will, hopefully, be past the bickering and just be there for each other. And hopefully, will find themselves with a special connection that lasts for life. One day, at a family reunion, I hope they look around at their children and their siblings and feel glad to have each one. I know I am.

What does it all mean?

This week we lost one of our parents. He was not ready to go, but his body was not willing to cooperate. Very sad.

The last few days, the family walks around in a stupor. The chores at home, the problems at the office, even the kids struggles seem meaningless. Did I ever tell Tom that I loved him? That I appreciated all he did for our family?

We live our lifes. But what do they mean? We get so caught up in our daily routines, that we become them. What is left after you take away your employment/career, errands, education, meals and chores? Your personality. Your relationships. Your feelings. So we ARE feelings. Feelings about what you like and love, what makes you happy, who makes you happy. So perhaps, the most lasting effect you have have here on earth is to leave good feelings in other people. Confidence about themselves. Fun, happiness and hope. Because that is all there is.

The rest of the week I will be writing thank you notes to the many thoughtful people whom my father-in-law touched. Then maybe those people who were saddened by the loss of Tom will feel appreciated a little, too.

Give Less, Get More?

This goes totally against my female thought processes. Stop giving.

When we were listening to the Venus/Mars book on tape, this topic was discussed. It was an eye-opener to me. Men are keeping score. I don't consciously keep score. Never have. Giving is just second nature. Being helpful to family members is a reflex.

My hubby needs a hand, dinner, or didn't get to the dishes... I help. Since he is keeping score, he owes me for each favor I do him. This was news to this brain. I help because I choose to. If I didn't want to give, I have that option. Each time he did something for the family or for me, he then felt he was caught up. He had given back. I see him working away, feel guilty because I am playing Sudoku, and pick up my pace. Then he has to catch up again. Poor guy. It would helped if I was aware of the scoreboard years ago.

This last weekend, he invited several guys over to watch football. He says he wants to keep it "simple." This is said to reduce any stress I may be feeling about what to serve. I normally cook a couple things and spend the game time running food and drinks up and down the steps. So I call him on it. "Sweetheart. I am glad you are having friends over. Are any of the wives coming?" No. They weren't invited. He assumed (no doubt, correctly) that they would rather have the afternoon free. "So," I say, "I could go shopping during your game?" After a brief moment of shock, he says, "OK. I can get the food." My look of disbelief spoke volumes. But he never fails to amaze me. He says, "I don't usually get the food because you do. If you don't I will."

Sheesh. Why didn't I think of that. All these years, I just needed to sit down. His sense of scorekeeping would have caused him to take a shift being the host. Now, if only I liked football.

Stop my children from growing up!

When we were newly married and watched our friends have children, they told us to enjoy them now, because once the children start school the clock spins even faster. Before you know it, they will be grown and gone. I made a point of trying to live in the moment, but 16 years have whipped by and I think I blinked. As I design yet another graduation invitation for another niece or nephew, I realize that my oldest is next. I crave the days with a little baby to hold, even though I also remember wishing she would take a nap so I could get something done. My husband laughs asks why I would want that time back. "They are so great now," he says, "and we don't have to chase after them." Parenting is so bitter-sweet. The next 10 years will also go by in a flash, and then I will be home with an empty nest, wishing I could have my babies again. :( There is always volunteer work.